Blowing the dust off! -- Shaking the dust off!

My last long ago entry was about words and between the very few lines some hopelessness that I felt.  Hopelessness is not an every day feeling, but it is one that pretty much is word provoked for me.  Not self-talk, but words said to me.

My life is different now and it's not so much that I'm limited physically by the condition that wants to control my life, or the area where I reside.  But, bottom line, it's that I have a limited outreach.  A portion of my outreach was via this blog and is also on FaceBook and Twitter here and there.  It's time the was, becomes an is again regarding this blog.  It's time the is on FaceBook, tames down a bit.  Words come into my heart and spirit that I feel compelled to share, but FaceBook certainly isn't the right vehicle for it.  My desire, and I believe it's one God has placed into my heart, is to encourage and lift up others as they cross my path.  It can be a stranger, a friend, an acquaintance, or even someone that's not on my fun to be around list in person or in my "net" life.   

More and more I'm letting go of the me I used to be.  It's not been easy.  It's not been fun.  And in a weird way, it's been time consuming.  It hasn't been anything I wanted to do, but it's necessary for me to move forward.  To hopefully, begin anew.  The me that touched a lot of people most days and actually made differences has gone through some growing pains in simply wanting to "be" since Epilepsy has tried to take control.  It's been crazy just trying to find "me" at times.  I was so much a hands on type of person, and enjoyed one on one and small group settings.  Try as it may, my spirit has fought back even when the me in me, has felt extremely insignificant.  As always it's grace that gets us through.  Even though my challenges are minimal in comparison to what so many people on earth endure and have to push through to the the other side, my reality is my life.  When independence and freedom are lost in rapid time, it can do a number on our self-worth and self-esteem.  There's a very real grief that sets in.  In my case the grief I experienced has been concentrated having lost my dad a few short months after the onset of "E".  Which is a loss I just carry with me.  There's no closure.  No healing, aside from the peace that my dad is with the Lord.  I've also had to feel my way through... navigating through side effects of medications that never helped relieve one single sensation.  I've had to throw off negative words being spoken by serious neurologists about my life and my future.  I've had to shake off subtle fears about SUDEP, as the medical stats are stacked against me.  The journey of finding and discovering the brass tacks of me has been slow going in a way.  There are days I simply function, but each day I push through and can't base my opinion of myself on what I accomplish.  That's such a trap and pitfall.  One we all experience.  Quite possibly, often.

Know this, though, my spirit is not ever going to give in.  There's always of enough of me left, not to let any fears get me!  There's lots of fight left in me to go however many rounds necessary.  Has it been easy?  No.  Can others make it easier by understanding?  Yes.  Yet, I don't expect anyone to change, but me. Honestly, I don't feel sorry for myself in the least.  And if I come off as a whiner, that is not my intent.  My main intent when I share is to help others understand what may not be understandable unless you live it.  However, I know others can relate as compassionate human beings.  A bond many people in and on the outskirts of my life share.

This I know to be truth...

Isaiah 42:3 (Amplified Bible)

"A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not quench; He will bring forth justice in truth."

I can burn brighter than a dimly burning wick.  There's more than a spark inside me, even though, admittedly it's been a struggle to figure out what God's plan is for me these days.  My life has changed, true, but it's not over.  As for what the future holds, still I'm clueless.  Yet, there's still a purpose for me on this planet, and I'm hoping and praying that it will be revealed to me as the rewiring process continues.  As much as I've felt like letting go of Project Rewire, I know feelings change.  It's my reason for pulling it out of view for awhile so I could focus my thoughts and attention elsewhere for a spell.  It became a hurtful place "here" during the winter months.  There are several reasons for that, but none I need to share, aside from the fact that not much new was coming into my life, and the weather plays a number on this fair weather gal.  Pulling back and storing Project Rewire may not seem the best when bloggers focus on readership, yet, it was the right thing to do for me.  If I'd gone with my feelings, I would have pulled the plug, but wisdom prevailed.

A person can't bank on feelings.  But, a person can bank on God's promises and His Word, even in the midst of setbacks, discouragements, gained ground and peaks so high that touching the sky is possible.  It's all part of the growth process.  Fortunately, God has blessed me with the ability to understand many sides and to keep things in perspective.  It's about letting go and letting God in... what's new?

So, I'm blowing the dust off of Project Rewire, as of this day!  I'm also shaking the dust off of my feet, per se with regard to my relationship with Wake Forest Baptist Comprehensive Epilepsy Center in Winston-Salem -- supposedly, one of the 17 best clinics in the nation.  It was a great experience for me for a season, but, unless something truly bad happens, no more for me.  I may or may not elaborate in the near future, but suffice it to say, if you are suffering from Epilepsy, I highly recommend you go elsewhere.  There are other problems I've run into at Wake Forest Baptist, as well, and the worst is that they don't follow through.  Not even their Department of Excellency.  In the most polite terms, they don't walk their talk.

And before I scoot, admittedly I'm working myself out of an irregular people induced funk... what better way than with Casting Crowns, We Are The Body.  It's important to remember that words bring life or death, and it's very important for me to not only remember it, but live it!  If we aren't His hands and feet, then, who are we? 

I have no problems !... !... !... !.. .!... !... !... !!!

Was the common phrase we shared and heard coming out of our sanctuary at church yesterday into our fellowship hall.  My hubby and I had one really good conversation about it with one of our beloved friends.  He and his wife are dear to us.  Their son was very special as well, and tragically committed suicide a few years ago.  The father found him in their front yard.  Due to sensitivity reasons, I shall not elaborate further.  Suffice it to say... it was a difficult scene.  His family misses him dearly.  Those of us who knew him as a kid and an adult do, too.  I saw him frequently on my job and I can't see a big brown truck and not think of him.  

Anyway... we stood on line quite awhile waiting to get to the long buffet table which was fine by my hubby and I.  We always choose to either be last or make sure we're toward the rear.  We get to fellowship our way to the food!  :) It's also important for our seniors to get seated and the families with children.  Plus, it takes me forever to go down the buffet table.  That thing is like a giant menu!!  Which always takes me some time to go through.  Choices choices choices... funny thing, often I order the same ole same ole.  Years and years ago people used to select my food for me, like my mom... it's how I learned to have a diverse palette.  I go for healthy! 

I like to eat healthy even at our church meals, which nothing against Sourthern cooking, but, I know there's dessert of some sort waiting for me.  Perhaps, more than one dessert. :) So, I make it a point to go for veggie dishes, salads... light stuff.  However, I'm not going to turn down a serving of truly homemade mac & cheese or cornbread for anything.  Yesterday, I had a small serving of mac & cheese.  It was great!  I passed on the corn bread.  Much to regret after I nibbled a bite of my husband's wedged slice.  Like who cares about what I eat, but I did have a partial BBQ chicken leg.  It was good!  I eat meat, but not big portions.  I rarely eat red meat.  I'm clueless on the last time I had a steak, it's been that long ago.  Anyway, the food was tasty... the dessert even better.  Those multi-layer chocolate cakes were good.  I tasted two.  LOL  Not big slices... just very very small portions. 

Now back to the "I have no problems..." title.  We had a special speaker yesterday from the Assemblies of God district headquarters, who brought a profound message.  He started a little slow and it took me a few moments to tune in to be totally honest.  It's not that he wasn't interesting; just soft spoken.  He and his lovely wife had never had the occasion to visit our new sanctuary before, although he's visited our pastor several times over the past 19 years.  After all of his friendly warm up, I tuned in immediately.  Hey, I'm human.  And to be completely honest, I was experiencing some heavy duty pressure in my head.  It's distracting, but in most cases, I can shake it off and focus.  Which is good, because it helps me not to feel it. 

He spoke about "the Father's love".  Toward the end, before the alter call, he played a short video of Team Hoyt.  Hopefully, my readers will know who they are.  If not, please google them!!!  It's imperative for you to understand Dick and Rick's full story after you watch the youtube below.  I've been  blessed by catching their story on TV several times and I'm always humbled... always amazed... always teary eyed.  It's so incredibly inspiring and thought provoking.  It will put your life in perspective in a New York minute!  Try it, you'll see.  For a taste... here's the wikepedia link below:

Team Hoyt

I'm going to end this entry here by sharing that in a nutself one of the most profound statements Rick made to his dad which Dick found so compelling that he's pressed on and continues to race... was that Rick "did not feel handicapped" during the events.  Marathons to Iron Man Triathlons... running, biking... swimming!  That's super human stuff when considering what some would see as obstacles.  As far as the obstacles... merely read the link above for enlightenment.  Maybe God will touch you as he did me... yet, another reminder.  I have no problems... and the challenges I have are tiny in comparison to Team Hoyt,  They are a true example of "our Father's love" on earth.  If you don't see it, please comment.  If you do, comments are always welcome.

Now... for the youtube... there are MANY on youtube about Team Hoyt.  This particular one has some of the same footage we watched in church yesterday which is my reason for choosing it.  

My Redeemer couldn't be more fitting of a score...

Project Rewire... First Anniversary... Reflections of a year gone by...

Edit: June 2, 2010 after much thought I pulled my Project Rewire "anniversary" reflections Youtubes Parts 1 and 2 after having them "up" for 8 months.  I never was happy that my endeavor wound up being a two parter even though there was a lot of ground to cover.  Part 1 ultimately received close to double the amount of views that Part 2 had.  Honest to goodness, that didn't hurt me, but it made Part 1 insignificant and practically irrelevant.  Being an extremely logical minded gal, it was important to me for it all to make sense.  It was also important for me to elaborate about the ways I believed God had been leading me to do certain things to help rehab myself.  And how the things He led me to do, had helped me up to that point.  I thought it was also key for me to share how I'd refused to accept the negative words and reports I'd received from Neurologists since January, 2006.  Had I, my faith would have been hampered, dampered and crushed!  However, my entry below is still very much relevant, so only "this" edit is needed in my humble opinion.  To those who watched "my" two-parter, who may come across this entry again, it did my heart well to see those "views", although I truly never wanted anyone to feel obligated to watch both, which was my problem from the beginning.  Should I have followed through and not posted, either?  I'm not sure.  What I am sure about, past is past.  It's new day now.  A new time.  And I have no further thoughts one way or the other. 

Well, Saturday a week ago, July 25th, 2009 I celebrated my first anniversary of blogging Project Rewire. As I mentioned in the prior post, my hubby and I, along with my brother-in-law and a friend took to the sky in our powered parachutes. Then, the next afternoon after church that Sunday I 'webcammed' it to create two YouTubes to share my reflections of Project Rewire's first year, instead of writing my typical "novel" length entry. But, uh oh, here goes one anyway! Ha! A blogging woman's prerogative.

In the Youtubes my "soul" purpose was to share from my heart and provide details to give the viewers and Project Rewire readers a better picture of the positive things I'm doing for myself... things I believe God has guided me to do. As well as to talk about how Epilepsy has limited life. And NOT limited my life, most importantly! It's a bit of a bummer I had to go with two YouYubes, as my original hopes were to get all I felt compelled to share into one video. Yet for me, one was an impossibility. Just like keeping this to only a few lines. (Readers... I'm hoping you feel compelled to take the time to watch Part Two... I'll be forever thankful if you do!)

Also, toward the end I took a few moments to speak specifically to some family members and to a few special friends who I reconnected with this year. Plus, shared a tiny bit about my hopes for this coming year. Although, I touched on a few things I wanted to share, there's more in my heart that soon needs to be added. So, I'm planning to make a couple more YouTubes to elaborate further on ways God has helped me on my journey to healing and also to thank a few people, like all of YOU Project Rewire readers!! From there, we'll see how it goes. I may get in a groove to make YouTubes every now and again. Or, use my channel to share some video of other interests of mine.

A note about the quality... video quality, I mean. To be honest, It's not there. My hubby and I do some videoing from time to time and there is no comparison. But, the content is most assuredly there. I chose to webcam outside in one of my favorite places... on my deck. I could hear all of my wind chimes tinkling in the hot summer breeze... a wonderful variety of birds were singing in my sanctuary... the tops of the tall pine trees swaying back and forth as they danced in the wind... and overhead the fantastic clouds rolled in. It was a steamy 97 degrees in the shade under the umbrella. I taped several sessions to try to get it right. So, you'll catch a tad of not so great editing. It was my first time out with the webcam on my little MacBook and using iMovie. The MacBook is still a rehab tool for me. I'm a "Windows" gal and have been since MS did away with DOS, LOL! But, my goal one day is to be proficient on both.

Also, just so you know... I sent the two parter out to a small number of people first prior to posting them here. Some are people who've known me all of my life, but haven't seen me in over twenty years. People who have seen me in the last one to five years. People I routinely see. And people who've never met me in person. However, I've met via FaceBook; this blog or via Twitter.

So far, I received encouraging comments from everyone, not just patting me on the back, or complimenting me, but true candid feedback. Those who know me in person, noticed the change from my Second MRI Day, March 13, 2009 YouTube. While others went back to the last time they saw me two and three years ago. The only negative feedback I received was from a net friend who has never met me in person. The comments made were about my eyes looking to the left and up often while I was speaking. My friend even thought I was reading cue notes from a board. Nope, it's so not the case. I adlibbed it all! At one time my memory was so sharp I rarely had to write notes for anything and I'm used to thinking on my feet. So, even the mere thought of using notes of any sort when I YouTube myself is never going to happen. I prefer the challenge!

Yet, I'm very thankful my friend mentioned it, otherwise I wouldn't have thought to explain about my eyes. Keep in mind when someone is recalling a memory, the brain signals them to look up and to the left. Interviewers such as I was in my second career, know this. And, people who interrogate others, such as properly trained law enforcement officers, know this. It's a body language thing. Also, please keep in mind that the lesions I mention in the Part One are located in the "language area" of my brain, so it works to find the right word as I speak. My vocabulary is not extensive in the YouTubes as I'd like, but my words do make sense and they flow. That's good enough for me. Hopefully, for those who view them, too! Now, in my next video I'll go into more detail about the "frayed" wires, which actually led up to the name "Project Rewire". It all goes back to a five hour face to face Neuro Cognitive Evaluation I had with a Neuro Psychologist in January of 2007.

One last thing... please any feedback or comments... comment here, or on YouTube. I'm learning and my desire is to improve. This is one time I also ask that Project Rewire readers not email me privately. On YouTube and here on Project Rewire, I can easily come back to refresh my memory. Emails... I receive a large number of emails daily via AOL... and this is so important to me, I don't want to lose any. Thank you!

And just for the record, referring to the "About Me" section on Project Rewire, I'm still doing my best not to allow the disease, nor the stigma to define me that comes along with Epilepsy and/or seizure disorders. And even though I'm pretty much home bound, I try to live my life as normally as possible. I am not a disease, I am Jeanne! The ONLY reason I talk about it in person, or on this blog, is that I'm trying to put a FACE on the disease to bring much needed awareness to it, and that's a path or a calling I can't ignore... so who knows where God will lead me next year? But where ever it is, I'm willing, and He will be faithful to prepare me. Has this past year since beginning Project Rewire been easy? No, it's honestly been one of the most challenging years of my life, but through the Lord, I've persevered. Thankfully,He's yet to forsake me!

Deuteronomy 31: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you or forsake you."

Okay... here goes! Please feel free to pass this blog entry on as well as the YouTubes, if you feel led to... those of us living with Epilepsy, surely could use the help getting the word out to create awareness everywhere. Thanks!

P.S. I will be cross posting these YouTubes on FaceBook in a day or so. A dear person to me passed away last evening (Sunday) and I need to wait a little. She was a beautiful woman. The wife of "my" special trainman... someone who has been much like a grandfather to me this past year. My heart is breaking for him, and he also just had surgery this week to have stints put in due to a triple blockage. My praying readers... please pray for him and his family. God knows him by name. Thank so much.

It's been quite a week...

Ramblings from a sleep deprived individual waiting to hit the road at 5:15 a.m. to head back to Wake Forest Baptist Hospital for my second in a series of three EEGs. One already down. One later today at 7:30 a.m. with the last to be performed on July 17th.

Am I loving, it? No.

But, it beats the daylights out of being in the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit like I was last year. I'm so utterly thankful that my new doctor saw the need for another method to be used to capture the type of data required to either back up my original diagnosis of left mid temporal Epilepsy. Or, rule it out. I refuse to be anything but hopeful.

I've lots of photos I could share of places I've been this week. But I'm struggling, literally, with where to start. There's been much going on of late. Day trips I've made this week alone.

What story should I tell? Let's see...

How about the Jon Schmidt concert my husband and I attended in Charlotte on Saturday night? It was all I wanted for my birthday.

In a word, the concert was amazing! For my readers who may not know of Jon... he's a brilliant pianist. He has the potential to be another George Winston, perhaps even better! I'll share a youtube of his before I sign off on this entry.

As for my story about him, one of my closest friends shared a youtube of his on FaceBook I'll be sharing below. Every time I play it, it brings me to tears. I'm not exactly sure as to all of the reasons for such reactions, but there's just something about the combo that gets to me. It's an unlikely pairing... another uncommon partnership as I like to call them. And Jon's daughter's name is Sarah, which is my first name.

His performance was simply unreal. Jon has an amazing God given talent. He's extremely down to earth, funny and humble. Patient, too, as there were sound problems initially. He was kind and found other ways to entertain us while we waited for the sound tech to workout the bugs. He also took time to chat with my husband and I after the show. I had a vibe during the show and there was no way I could walk out of the theatre without asking him about it.

A super short version of the story, Jon's sister, Rose Anne, passed away when he was 19. She was only 30 years old at the time and was a very accomplished pianist. She had Epilepsy and lost her life to a seizure. Jon wrote his song "Tribute" in her honor to play at her funeral. He shared that he plays it at every concert he gives and tells about her. He doesn't speak of her sorrowfully. In essence he idolized her and he looked up to her... he admired her. He spoke of what a wonderful sister she was and how she was a terrific mom. He even shared that he wanted to marry someone just like her and he did. However, during the concert he never mentioned the cause of her death, but I knew the moment he began talking about Rose Anne. Seriously, something just came over me. I just knew.

We talked with Jon a good 20 minutes after the show and I felt compelled to ask him about her and what happened. He was so kind to me and he willingly shared. I wasn't at all surprised to hear what he told me. Not one bit. It made me a little sad, at the same time, I was awed by Jon's warm and candid manner. And the love I could see that he has for his sister. His tribute to her couldn't be more lovely. I may share a youtube of it another time.

To me, I see the few moments we spent with Jon as a divine encounter. I'm very thankful to my special friend for sharing that youtube on FaceBook.

First will be a little photo of me with Jon below. Oh how I wish I'd straightened my cross first!

Then, the lovely youtube will follow.

Tate Hall in the Overcash Building at CPCC Charlotte

And here's the youtube... I've shared it with some of my readers on FaceBook and individually. There are no words to describe how this song touches me. It's not the lyrics... it's the shear beauty of the music and Jon's creativity. It's pure brilliance! Putting the piano and the cello together in such a unique song combo. Incredible!

Special thanks also to Dennis D. for putting the show together and networking about the venue change, the tickets, directions to the theatre... etc. He did an impeccable job. And, he also plays a nice piano!

I'm telling you what... you should check to see if Jon will be performing in your area, because, if he is you need to go see him. Once Love Story is released, his popularity is going to GROW... the sky is the limit for him!

Jon Schmidt dot com

!! Happy Fourth of July to all of my readers and Happy Birthday to my niece !!

I know You're There! By Casting Crowns..... .. .. .... ...

As the youtuber has disabled the "embedding" option... I am unable to include the actual "production", however, I'll share the link anyway... it's that nice! (And, I'm sensitive to the youtuber's reason for not allowing it to be embedded... there are always reasons behind such choices, and some youtubes have very personal reasons behind them.)

The beach shots and content are stunning reminders to me of my years growing up along Chesapeake Beach, in Virginia Beach... as well as every special beach I've had the joy and pleasure of visiting. My heartfelt hope and prayer is that one day to have a home on a beach again. It's just a dream and part of me I can't let go of. Just never felt led to let go of it. And, I don't give up hope easily!

The words of the song aren't for anyone in particular, but for *every* person who has ever touched my life in unique and special ways. Those are the people I'll remember forever. Family, best friends, friends, once co-workers, customers, clients... my readers here rest assured are included. As well, as those God allowed me to serve, or make a little difference. It's also to new friends and divine connections I know will be coming my way. Some already are.

This entry is also for my sister, Grace aka Gay, whose 66th birthday would have been tomorrow. Her life and loss made a huge impact on my life. Yet, I know she's still here with me, and one day I'll get to see her again. Thank the Lord for that assurance for those of us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior.

As you play the youtube, be sure to scope in on the words. And, please oh please... set it to hi-def. For the few semi-net-savvy (and I know who you are)... just click the words below... it's a link! It really really is! Ha!

I Know You're There by Casting Crowns



P.S. The photo recovery process is completed. Just received the good news!! God Bless the recoverer!!! So, watch for some pictures soon. I've not taken a single photo since "the mishap"...
it's going to be good to get back to it!
Hope, Faith & Prayer works!

Will be coming back to add an appropriate photo soon!

Too much to tell about this Mother's Day...

!!! Believe it !!!

Incredible prayers have been answered
Extremely meaningful to me
Each striking examples of God's love for us
That He's still in the business of creating miracles
And answering prayers

Reminders of hope
Reminders of what having faith in God can accomplish
And, like the story of the Prodigal Son
Walls of distance knocked down
Although the wait is long
Sometimes it simply takes time
For His plan for us to come together
Our free will plays such a role

It can stumble a person
Or, turn a person around
It can give a person
The time they need to
Rediscover themselves
Find themselves
Come back to God
For a new beginning
The very cool thing to know is that
as a believer
Things will turn around

Delay is a risk to take because we are
Not promised one second on this planet
There are no guarantees
Each moment must count
But, God is still in control
Don't forget it!
No matter how hard it is, He promises
His grace is sufficient.

Hard to grasp but so true...
Where two or three are gathered
the Word promises prayers will be answered
Have faith...
Believe it!!!

Deliberately leaving all but a very few of my readers utterly clueless. All I can say is what a Mother's Day!!! One that will be forever etched upon my heart -- the feeling of overwhelming joy and elation!!! Tears of joy and not sadness. Amazing!

The music of Keith Green is timeless. Anyone not familiar with him, I highly suggest you Google him... his light will forever shine And, Google up some of his music on youtube, as well and listen to his words... watch a few of his performances. A man on a mission with compassion and passion.

Me, all I want to do is make a difference, but I know the light in me pales in comparison to Keith's... gives me much to think about and ask God to help me work on... yet, I have faith that perhaps in time with tons of concentrated prayer, and feeding my spirit as the Word requires, maybe at the very least a little glimmer will be seen. We shall see. if His light shines through me.

His love broke through me a long long time ago. yet there are spells I go through where I feel as if everyday, I'm waking up from a dream and I have to remind myself who I am in Christ. As I stumble, I'm aware I can stumble others. And do. I'm asking God to change me. Bless others. Those reminders were so needed... and they've given hope.

The words of this song are utterly captivating. If you need a breakthrough in your life or in the life of someone you care about... consider saving this youtube. Keith had the eyes of Jesus. And, even though he's gone... the light of Jesus still shines through them.

Keith Green ~ Your Love Broke Through

What if His people prayed...

by Casting Crowns... a song I've been listening to MUCH lately... I believe it's sinking in. Very appropriate for National Prayer Day.




P.S. Continuing to work to organize Project Rewire. Supremely looking forward to the introduction of pages by Blogger at some point in the future. My labels are a mess. But, like me, this thing is a work in progress. And, God is the only one who knows when I'll come back and make edits. Still catching type-os and such in past entries, but perfect = not me. :)

To E2, the one with his own image in his......

sunglasses of himself, of himself, etc. ;)

Two things quickly. Youtube of the song I mentioned to you!

Play it! Get it into your spirit, but confess with your (mouth) tongue that He Reigns as you drive to your visit today! There's more, but for now... this is all I feel compelled to share due to time constraints and privacy issues. You're being prayed for as is your lovely wife. Since she and I share a similar condition, I believe I may know how she may be feeling. And, she and I both know what stress "triggers" can do. Not fun manifestations. Oy-veying experiences.

Creating a label just for you, dude! One never knows, I may be putting up more stuff from time to time. Encouraging words, photos you might enjoy that sort of thing, plus it's the least I can do for one of my faithful readers and his wonderful helpmate.

P.S. Oh! And, should you read this after your visit, please keep "those" words on your tongue, fella -- and coming outta your mouth! They're words of life. :)

Remember to find something fun to do today, too! If you can include L and Fred, too!

Later.........

I Know......... by Mercy Me

For me, it's been about over coming my past and probably some fears, as well. Whether my readers believe in God or not, He spoke to me miraculously one day using this song and I will never forget it as long as I live. There's a story, but one so special, only a few have I shared it with... in essense He reached out to me, and I reached back. I've passed this song on to several I hope will feel Him reaching His hand toward theirs...

... just felt appropriate to share the beautiful song today ...
it's a song of hope and of healing and of love

God's Love

To my ~A1~ and 4KT2, her friend...

and for the girl just diagnosed with the brain cyst -- the one so close to one of my loved one's heart, as is her precious daughter (the little mint eater)... your name has been written on my whiteboard left handed. Which means, we'll be praying for you down here in NC.

Actually, this youtube is for anyone anywhere who needs a boost!!

I LOVE this video!! Such an inspiration the "maker" is... sometimes it's the simplest and most easy things that can make a difference.

(~A1~ this video is pretty much what's been happening to me... it can happen to you, too!! I've have all ideas you're on the path already. And, I know you've seen the change in me -- good changes. Good changes can happen in you, too. God has a plan for your life, ~A1~ -- never forget it. I'm finally realizing mine and somehow the "E" or whatever it is I have, is bringing it to fruition. Since you find the youtubes helpful, I'll be adding more in between my usual postings. I want this to be a safe haven for you and a place of encouragement and peace. I'm going to start using a label ~A1~, so you can pull them up in a group whenever you need to and easily skip through my yacking about me. Going to go back to add labels to the others, too. Fortunately, there are many wonderful youtubers out there who feel led to create these wonderful videos, so it's not something I plan to do anytime soon -- I'm feeling led to video other stuff, which if it were my choice, I'd pass, but feel so led to, I must. Whew! Kinda scary human thought, but not letting fear get into my "faith" walk.)

Oh Grace! It's a new day...

Even though here on the East coast of the USA it's still dark outside, I see light... light beaming from a beautiful photo hanging on my bedroom wall taken by my cousin with me in mind during a hike on Mount Rainier in Washington State. It's a stunning shot taken at dusk with the silhouette of a giant Douglas Fir on the left side with its limbs reaching towards the setting sun as if to say goodnight... "looking forward to seeing you almost this same time tomorrow at dusk". See my cousin knows, dusk is one of my favorite times of the day. Just as my husband knows I love to watch the sunrise and the crash for awhile afterwards. There's a reason for that but sparing everyone from extraneous Project Rewire "cause" chat in this blog post. Hey, I heard everyone say "yay!"... LOL!

Now, what's unusual is when I see that light reminds me of God's grace... something I learned much about from a very special pastor many years ago. Every time I play one particular song by Mercy Me... I always think of that special pastor -- he had both the heart and eyes of Jesus. And, both he and his wife's hands were always outstretched to their parishioners giving light to their lives, sowing good good stuff into them. I've never forgotten their kindnesses to me. I learned much about going through difficult times back then, some of my most difficult ever... but that pastor and his special wife gave me a certain type of caring that helped me tap into God's strength. Strength I've remembered quite often in dealing with every battle I've ever experienced since.

Grace was also the name of my sister, although we called her Gay and she had a temper... grace she had all about her. She was one special person!! Ten years older than me, but she didn't care. She took me almost everywhere with her.

Grace is also a gift I ask God for almost daily... not the kind He freely gives to us... but the kind I want to give to others a special "human grade" God kind of grace... I refuse to let anything else get in my pathway to it... with grace in hand, operating in my life... there is nothing on this planet I can't get through... the same goes for my readers, too... family, new or old friends, acquaintance or stranger... it doesn't matter. God's grace is at hand... Grace Abounds!

Here's a youtube of the song I mentioned above... one day, I will make my own, that'll be the first thing I do once I get typing on this MacBook down!