Love never fails...

        
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (From 1 Corinthians 13)

I shared this on Facebook this morning for a Valentine's message, rather than sharing wishes or greetings.  I wanted to make an effort to be sensitive to several friends of mine on Facebook.  My heart has been with those friends, and some of my family members today, as well. 

Even though today is a simple little holiday, as I heard someone say the other day, on Valentine's Day the real winners are the greeting card companies.  It's a day they invented.  Not true, but they do benefit from it!  Let me take that notion a step further to include the florists, the candy purveyors, restaurants, and even wineries, etc.  Also, let's not forget Wal-Mart and Target, of course, all the way to high end department stores. 

Do you agree, or disagree?

I understand the person I mentioned above sentiments completely.  Especially so, since being one who truly isn't into the festivities of any holiday; including my own birthday.  Such days, as special as they may be, just cause me to miss all of my loved ones who have gone on before me, and they also cause me to feel empathy for those who have lost loved one "Valentines".  Yet, still carry them in their hearts.  Not that the loss is ever buried in the back of their minds, but there are significant days the loss can't help but be felt more acutely.  And on this special day, a day that's devoted to our love and relationships with our partners for the most part, I feel for those who aren't able to be with their Valentines for whatever reason. 

Whether they've gone home to be with the Lord very recently, or long ago.  Or, a some time in between.  Whether they are members of our armed services and are away protecting their loved ones (and us) and their beloved country.  It's those separations that makes this special day a poignant one to me and a little bittersweet knowing my Valentine will at least be face-to-face with me later this evening.  While, others I care about, or know about, have a void, or empty spot beside them.  Their face-to-face moments live only in their memories.  

Personally, I've not felt well today.  What I'd planned to make for a special Valentine's supper, I'm back burnering because it's more involved than I feel like dealing with today.  I don't have even have a card to give my hubby, because I like to buy my Valentine's cards in secret without him being nearby in the store.  It's not that I haven't had the time because my hubby has been very busy lately working extra days, and dealing with some family matters that have kept him going up and down the road more than usual.  It's that I've just not had a day in several weeks where I felt comfortable to go off on my own, even for just and hour or so.  In fact, I only had about 5 of those days last year.  In many respects, my hubby is my safety net and my security when we're out and about in public.  On my own, I'm never at ease or comfortable like I used to be. 

So, today is a day, I'm depending on the fact that "love never fails".  And that again, my hubby will have to choose to overlook what I didn't get accomplished.  And how I've not come through with a special gift, or token of my affection, to demonstrate to him what he means to me.  Fortunately, he's understanding more and more about this thing that has taken away a normal life from the both us, can be controlled... only... so far.  That in spite of my "I'm not going ever let it win" attitude, it still must be factored in with wisdom.  And it still wins, sometimes, as much as it distresses me, to admit it.

I'm blessed by having a very patient, kind and loving hubby.  In the for better or worse part of our vows, he's been living in the "worse" for several years now.  What he bargained for all those years ago, he didn't really "get".  Admittedly, that gets to me.

It's caused him to go back to work after retirement to cover my health insurance expense and to help fill in the gap for the income I once contributed to keep us in the black.  Fortunately, he's healthy and has quite a bit of expertise in his field, and does enjoy working.  Yet, I'm sure he'd enjoy being out of the or "worse" vow mode, so he'd have more time to simply enjoy life, things that make him happy, rather than be on the run all of time, and working. 

He does have one very determined wife who still has hopes of having a normal life with him again one day.  In actuality, though, normal for us, has never been "normal".  So perhaps, I should say, back into the "for better" area of our vows.  Rather than the "for worse" phase due to my health issues. 

I've thought off and on about what I could do, or give him, that would be special to him.  In the past couple of weeks I've been thinking back to when he and I first began spending time down at the Hamlet Historic Depot & Museum, and how that was the beginning of things turning around for me.  How God led me there, just as much as He did to buy a pair of pink Crocs and to pick up a camera.  Which led me to needle my hubby about taking some photos of me, not necessarily to share, but so he'll remember special times we spend together doing "normal" stuff -- the stuff that enables me to transcend what's going on up in my brain, and throughout my body.  There is only one series of candid photos taken by him during that time where much of the emotion I feel on the inside, he caught on the outside.  They were taken during our first stroll through Main Street Park (across from the Depot) on October 28, 2008.  Then on to, and alongside the railroad tracks beside the park.  

Off and on since that time, I've received a vareity of compliments and comments on the shots he took of me during that stroll.  And very recently, on Facebook.  Usually, I give him grief over missing feet and hands, or catching my eyes closed, but he worked super hard that day.  In fact, so much so, it's the standard I hold him to these days.  Much to his dismay. 

Then, it dawned on me, that perhaps a profile photo change might be in order to honor this special day for the next year using one of those photos.  Instead of sharing all of them right now, I shared a crop of my most favorite one above.  It's also the shot I've chosen for my new Blogger profile photo.  The only tweak, is that I've chosen to go with a black and white because of the way the contrasted sunlight surrounds my head.  Why?  In my mind, I see that light as God's healing power enveloping my head.  I see it healing my brain to the place it was before the misfires began.  Hopefully, some of you will see His healing touch upon me, too!  Especially, you, Steve.  Only you and I know how far I've come since then, and how far we've come.  We're a great example of how love never fails.

And in my mind, all of us who have or shared our lives with our special Valentines -- two feeted and our precious four legged varieties, we're the real winners!  It's certainly *not* the greeting card companies.  

Agreed???