Peace. Tranquility. Harmony. All alive and well for PetFest @ Hinson Lake, Rockingham, NC

Peace, tranquility, and harmony may seem elusive at times, but they are always there for the taking.  It's important to seek and seize the opportunities.  Admittedly, that's something I forget to do at times, depending on what has my attention and/or focus.  This I say knowing fully well what captures my attention and focus can be all consuming.  That's a big problem I have, unless I temper it into an asset. 

As one who has been deemed by neuro expert brain mapper types as grossly non A.D.D. I have an understanding of the problems and the assets of an all consuming state of mind.  It can work for you.  It can work against you.  No one want's to hear they are grossly anything.  Fortunately, the connotation becomes tolerable in the knowing and understanding.  Once I got past the "grossly" part, it's helped me gain some insight into what makes me tick.  If you've never heard the term before, being grossly non A.D.D. means one fixates easily.  Add the fact, that I'm pretty darn sure I was that way before Epilepsy fully manifested in 2006.  I see now in looking back over my life at times mini fixations were actually absence seizure.  How enlightening it was to finally know that. 

Now, when and if my heart is tied to whatever "it" is, I give over to the fixation all the more.  During both of my careers, it was a great asset to a certain degree.  But, there is a danger sign out there, I've been known to push past.  It was always a good deal for my employers.  Yet, for me as an individual, in my last couple years working, it proved not to be the most wise thing I've ever done in my life.  I'm there now again and see the sign in my face.  Hence, part of the reason for this blog post.  I'm documenting the fact that I see the sign!  And, I'm going to take note that there is danger ahead for me physically.  If, I don't take heed.  Last time I didn't, it very much gave ground to a round of cluster seizures that lasted a full six weeks and changed my life possibly forever. 

Sometimes we literally have to make ourselves stop, look, and listen face forward and sit a spell.  Or, stand still blocking out everything except for what's before our eyes and being streamed into our auditory system.  Without taking such a breather, it's difficult to see we're possibly under our own spell.  A spell driven by our reactions, emotions, thoughts and feelings about the things in life that touch our hearts the most.  In doing so we can allow nature and its beauty to refocus our thoughts.  To completely quiet ourselves. we can't just go through motions half way.  Or, from any other angle than spend a few moments doing something healthy for ourselves.  To shut down the thoughts in the forefront of our minds, removing our attention from anything else doesn't take much work when you commit yourself to it.  It only takes a second or two, if we realize we're the ones that have the key to the such moments, so nature can do its thing.  True, those moments when spontaneous can be utterly spectacular.  Yet, only if we recognize those them for what they are.  The joy of such moments is unspeakable.  One example is below which is an aerial I shot from my husband's and my powered parachute.  It was an early morning flight on July 5, 2011 and the ground fog was breathtaking from the air over Hamlet, NC.  However, this particular shot captured what our eyes weren't able to grasp.  Spectacular became magnificent.  And together my husband and I still are basking in the memory of that flight.  It was that perfect. 

Those moments are rare, so, why not create some awesome joy filled moments, when they're there for the taking?  It can be a simple as looking up at the sky when the clouds are moving.  Or, watching a hummingbird in motion, or sitting on a tree limb in the mist of an irrigation system, like I did on Tuesday.  Who knows how long the effects will last when captured in your memory banks?  When you re-live special moments in your mind, your body has the ability to re-live the feeling again.  Why not put it to good use?  Then, give yourself credit for knowing you needed them, and your rose to the occasion for you?  

I believe these Canadian Geese understand it.  They chose to be still to enjoy their time together on a lovely Spring afternoon at Hinson Lake.  As they stood amidst the lily pads amongst many humans and dogs passing by they appeared to cherish their special time.  And this they did in spite of the sounds of the PetFest event and several families nearby simply visiting for the fishing.  They stood secure in the fresh Spring breeze and warm sunlight, rather than fly away, and miss their moment to refresh and rejuvenate themselves. 



Lessons we can learn from nature are numerous, if we only look for and capture them into our psyche.  If you're anything like me, the thoughts in the back of your mind, influence your "now" thought life, too.  All of the self chatter relevant to our nows, including our "what to do nexts", and our ongoing evaluation of ourselves.  Which basically, all involve our life in general and where the two meet within us in our minds.  Personally, the only way I've found on the planet that I can really block 99% of "it" out, is looking through a camera's view finder.  I can shut the world out for the most part.  Along with it the unique nuances that makes living life with my brain out, too.  I live for those face forward soak it up moments.  Yet, I neglect at times to prioritize them into my life.  






I've not been totally lost to what's held my attention for weeks on end now, but it's almost like everything else has been from a distance.  I can hear the birds singing in the background as I've networked, and look at them through my kitchen window.  I have seen the blue skies and fluffies through a skylight in the next room.  I have peeked out through my bedroom window to catch the sun on the rise in the mornings.  And through my kitchen or living room window as it sets in the evenings.  However, I've not spent much time the past few weeks demonstrating any elation over Spring's arrival.  Nor, documenting it.

My non-professional, non-amateur, just me taking photos my way thing and processing them, is a key element to Project Rewire, just as much as writing is.  It has been back burnered deliberately, but the two need to go together to be the most effective, which is one of the reasons, I blog.  All work together as a form of rehab therapy to create new connections, and re-route neuro transmitters in areas in my brain that are either, damaged due to lesions, or mis-fire.

Aside from the fact it is so contrary to what I believe about what's healthy for me, personally, it's important not to miss Spring!  Spring is a change of the seasons I look forward to every year.   And not capturing the first signs of Spring here at home, or at any of my favorite places in Richmond County, such as the Hamlet Depot area.  Well, it's almost unforgivable.  I can't go back and take photos of Spring's arrival to share here, or on All Aboard Hamlet.  All I can do is pick up now, and not forget to take time to use the techniques God gave me to keep the rewiring project ongoing.  And me, more human.  Taking time to stop to find and absorb the peace, tranquility and harmony offered by nature compliments of our Father above, is a big part of it.

Spring gives the three an opportunity to be seized a little easier.  All many of us need to do is open our eyes to view the sights around us.  Spring in its splendor of colorful new beginnings, and dormant coming to life again can be seen everywhere in my backyard.  Both literally and in my regional back yard.

For both my husband and I due to issues with me, my mother and our household of rescues, it's important to discover and enjoy those nearby places that really show the seasons off.  The little hop, skip and jump spots from our home that offer a venue for a few moments of solitude for me with my camera as we wander within my husband's watchful eye.

Hinson Lake in Rockingham, is one of those places for us.  It's a beautiful little scenic secret we small town America dwellers in Richmond County are blessed to have.  This past Sunday Richmond County Humane Society held their PetFest food drive/spay neuter awareness event there.  Thankfully, they had the forethought to watch the weather and reschedule the event from Saturday to Sunday.  The Richmond County Daily Journal did a bang up job getting the word out about the change, and to further promote the event.  From the numbers of humans and dogs participating, it appeared to be a very successful event.  It was our first PetFest, and I couldn't be more pleased with how wonderfully organized the event was.  Happy faces were everywhere and no one was in a hurry.  Dogs of all sizes.  From the tiniest fit in one hand Chiuaua to a perfectly behaved Mastiff .  We were surrounded in harmony and it felt good.

Rather than take photos of the event, since it had been before March 4, 2011 (The day the news broke about the Chesterfield County Animal Shelter Atrocities) I focused myself and my camera toward peaceful, tranquil and harmonious sights.  Thanks PetFest for giving my husband, myself, and Roxy that welcomed opportunity to take a break, and to support the shelter animals at the same time.

 

To those of you who read this entry, seek peace, tranquility and harmony where ever you can find it.  When you find those places and moments, savor them, because they'll give you memories to fall back on when you need a break.  When you remember a moment, your body, mind and spirit has the ability to re-live that moment.  It can help settle you in stressful times, as well, as renew yourself with positive energy.

I leave you with just a few of my welcomed moments of peace, tranquility and harmony ala Hinson Lake, Rockingham, NC

I learned something from these two on Sunday afternoon.  Being still is not a problem of mine.  But, being still completely in the moment, is definitely something I need to work on regardless of my surroundings, or what's happening in my world, or in the world, it's a must. These are stressful times across the world.  Challenges are everywhere.  Horrific events are happening worldwide and have been forever.  As caring humans we can't help but feel it.  As caring humans beings we can't help but want to help.  But, it's like with those of us in canine rescue, we can't rescue them all, and we know it.  It hurts.  It sucks.  But, together one by one we can make a difference and save lives, in order to give new lives to deserving dogs.  We can't help everything, every cause and everyone, but we can make difference in "our world' and in our "backyards".  Because a day will come when our backyard is the world. 

My wishes and prayers for all who read this entry...

Peace

Tranquility

Harmony

Another walk in the woods today... different woods... Hinson Lake

Here I am again listening to Jon Schmidt's "Walk in the Woods" cd and I'm fighting back the tears.  Again. A few are popping through, but I'm tough and I'm forcing them back. Why the tears? I'm not sure. I don't recall a poignant walk in the woods over my lifetime, however, I do recall many fun walks in woods, forests, and amongst the wild grape vines and beautiful twisted Live Oak trees which resided on the dunes of Chesapeake Beach -- the end where I lived.  So long ago...

I wonder if the tears are because Jon Schmidt and I have a poignant moment when we talked about his sister, Rose Anne, after his concert in Charlotte, NC this past June.  And the fact that he wrote a tribute song to her to play at her funeral. She passed away when he was only a teen of an unexpected Epileptic seizure. Although, I don't allow my mind to wander in that direction often, I do think a little bit about SUDEP being at high risk for it. It's not that I'm afraid for anything to happen to me. My concern is about those that I care about if such an event were to happen to me. I already miss my loved ones I don't see, and even people I've not seen in many years. People, I do desire to see again. Family members. Friends. Close friends. Like one of my best friends back home -- we just never have enough time together when I'm in Virginia Beach. I care about her as if she was my sister, yet we rarely talk. I wish it were different.  There's a wall, on her end, I can't seem to break through, except when I'm there or let her know I'm coming.  It's fine because we always pick up where we left off, but it does concern me for her.  But... whatever.

In pondering, are my tears because I'm still in somewhat of a holding pattern?  Could very well be the frustration and trying to hold it in.  Put a good face on as much as possible in front of others.  All I know is that God is in charge, indeed, and here comes the "but"... but I'm human and am feeling quite stuck. Having said that thought, there is a little good news and it's that my nurse from Wake Forest Baptist Comprehensive Epilepsy Center called me today. She returned my call to her from two weeks ago. There are times I'm impatient, but times I'm extremely patient and when it comes to Valerie, I'm a patient patient. We both have a couple of things (information) we're gathering and I shall be calling her back soon to schedule an appointment with my new Epileptologist. How do I feel about it? The same as before. My hope is no different. My expectations, if they've changed are minimal. Yet, I believe in being a good patient and we'll see where it gets me. My case is just so atypical, I'm not sure they know what course of action to take with me. And to be totally honest, for the time being, I'm not sure where else to go in my situation.  It is all up to God, and I continue to believe in my healing.  Don't let my words here fool you!  But, I have to have an outlet... just so happens mine is a bit public on my blog and FaceBook. 

When I was speaking with Valerie, I shared with her about Summer, and how Summer truly was "my" summer. That caring for her, watching over her, helping her and bonding with her, trying to ease her pain in every health condition she was enduring or recovering from was my number one priority here at home. Valerie has read my blog entries a few times and she knows I'm using photography for rehab purposes -- my own version. Anyone reading for the first time, I'm not a photographer and barely claim to be a novice -- I take pictures because it's a rehab tool for me, and because I feel drawn to. It's not a hobby with me, it's something I feel compelled to do.. or better said "led".

Anyway, I sent Valerie an email after we spoke to share some photos of Summer with her. Before and current photos so she could see the wonderful transition my girl has made. Summer was in very sad shape when we first pulled her from the shelter in Chesterfield, SC. To see her today, except for her smile and ears, she doesn't look like the same Springer. In essence this is what I shared in my email...

I'm not scraggly like Summer, but I'm hoping for somewhat of a transition, too, from the way things are now in my life, to a better quality. My passion lies in these rescue Springers and I have a goal for Summer to become a therapy dog. There's a rehab center connected to First Health Hospital in Moore County where dogs help stroke victims and people with neurological problems. That's where I hope to have Summer help one day. An outreach for her per se'. She was a dog used for breeding purposes and it's been easy to see what a wonderful mother she was. It's in her to give love and mother others... humans, too. She will never have puppies around to fulfill that need in her. It's a trait. She has a litter, literally, of stuffed animals she cares for and carries around with her. Moving each one at a time to wherever she decides to rest. I need to re-channel that love and devotion. She should be over it by now, but she's not. She demonstrates the fact that she isn't by her little toy litter and separation anxiety. She's so bonded to me, she has a hard time even if I'm outside. However, to help her find a rewarding outlet, "a job" I must gain some independence and feel comfortable going out on my own again. Meaning some of the sensations I experience need to be alleviated. Steve has so much on his plate, he needs a break, too. How I get there, though, is always the question. Much I'm doing myself with God's help. He's not giving up on me, so my part is to not give up and to work with Dr. Sams and you. My fear is information overload on your end. If it will help achieve a diagnosis, or hinder it. Only time will tell.

And even though, we are not to fear, I have reasons for having that fear.  My mother has been through it, and so have I.  There's a place where too much medical history can get a diagnosis off course.  Right now, it's imperative we know what's happening in my brain, and the other neuro issues I'm experiencing can be focused upon later.  I'm dealing and I pretty much know what some of the symptoms stem from having read my MRI results (which the negatives were never discussed with me -- I had to read the info myself on records I requested).  So... at some point in the future, I'll pick up again on an update about my brain and I ~ LOL~ but for now, this is it!  In the meantime, I'm praying for favor and sensitivity from WFBHCEC... and answers!

When I hung up from Valerie, I focused again on the news of yesterday and today.  Could the news be much worse?  The Fort Hood situation, the tragedy of the lost lives, and those left to grieve and miss their loved ones.  And those who are injured.  I never ask God why... but pray that He uses this in some way to get our governments' attention.   Then, today in Orlando... another tragedy.  All of the families and loveds are in my prayers -- the survirors and injured.  I pray for God's healing touch, his grace and that they'll be surrounded in His arms.

Then, this afternoon a probation officer was shot in Charlotte.  Each and every time an officer of the law is gunned down and I hear about it, it comes home to me.  More prayers.  I can't help but put myself in the spouse's position.  So, after briefly watching some of the media coverage of the Texas and Florida tragedies, then hearing about the officer via a phone call from my mother, it was time to get out of the house.  So, my cop husband and I, along with Sydney and Summer took a wild walk in the woods at Hinson Lake.

Why was it wild?  It was our first time out with Sydney on her new Gentle Leader face harness thingy to make her stop pulling when she walks.  As well, it was Summers first real walk with my hubby, Sydney and I together in a wooded area with amazing scents!  There's a super path around the lake, yet, doggies of all manner visit, so the parts per million were going strong into our Springers' sniffing noses... they pulled and pulled and tugged and wanted to lead the way.  We didn't battle but, lets just say it was brisk walk!  And I must admit, I'm so proud of Sydney, overall she didn't rebell, and every single time I told her to sit, she did perfectly.  Both she and Summer had a doggone good time and have been crashed out all evening.  We'll be doing it again, soon.

I did have my little camera with and took quite a few shots... not tons for me, but certainly enough.  The color of the trees reflecting in the water was gorgeous!  I so love taking photos of reflective surfaces, but water is my fave.  Pretty much, I focus on it, yet look as far across the body of water that I can possibly see, while I also look close up and look up.  The melange of colors was stunning today in that water.  The weeds, dead trees, even algae looked beautiful to me, yet, as always I see beauty in imperfections.  I'll be sharing a slide show below, and only feel compelled to share one more thing... then I'll go...

I fixate on reflective surfaces much in part because they remind me of the way my brain works now.  I've always had an extremely vivid memory.  Plus, I'm really into details, and recalling details and specifics.  Since I'm now for all intents and purposes homebound, I spend an inordinate time remembering.  It's more time than I used to before the misfires began.  My own take, since the misfires are going off in my left mid-temporal lobe, I believe the kicked up activity causes me to remember more, and even more vividly at times.  Memories and temporal  lobe go together hand in hand.  However, the down side is that my immediate recall isn't so hot at times.  The same is true here and there regarding my ability to recall short term.  This can be anything such as whether I've fed the dogs in the morning, when I'd fed the dogs a few minutes earlier.  If those bowls are in the dishwasher still clean, I haven't.  If they are still on the floor recently eaten out of, I know they been fed.  But, if they are clean and dry in my dish drain, I have no clue because I wash and dry them by hand often.  So, it takes a routine, and a routine I must stick to, to really be sure.  Then other times, I can recall something that I know I know and in detail, but I may not be able to recite why or how I know.  I just went through this yesterday.  This is with insignificant "stuff".  It's ultimately a good thing, because if it is the type of "thing" I can research on the net, or in a book... whatever, I will and I learn from it.  I may not connect the dot to the how I know... but it is reassuring when recognize a person, place, or event.  For a few moments though, it drives me nuts, because I wonder.  And when I wonder... I fixate.  People like me who are grossly non attention decifit, fixate.

Well, slide below... another blog entry... and long... hmmmm... soon I expect them to be shorter!