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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Catch up blurb with few photos...

More blurb than photos... this time around...

Well, so much for posting pictures without real blog entries. Each time I've thought about it... came here to do it, I just couldn't. Even with my blogging I'm trying to follow God's leading... and listen to Him. He says no photos without narration.

He further says... I'll give you the words and tell you which photos to use when it's the right time. So... over a month goes by and here I am, finally. Playing catch up again... :)

Now, that being said...

He's been busy keeping me busy and working ever so much on my healing. More advancement has been made in my writing and communication skills. That's huge because as I've shared that's an area in my brain that's taken a big hit. Many many probably way too many words have been written and spoken by me since my last blog entry. Ask anyone on the end of my emails, and phone calls. Wordy ole me is back!

Interesting and so very true article on the subject done by Harvard Med which really brought it home for me and has also been helpful in sharing with family members so that they can "get" what has happened to me when I lost my words... I've tried to articulate this for what seems like forever and just recently discovered the article. For a long time, I felt I lost myself, even though, I knew God could heal me... and that there was a reason for everything. That I didn't want to be identified by a condition. Finding this article at the time I did, was perfect... which is actually amazing considering all of the research I've done re. Epilepsy and the effects of, and neuro conditons in general and never stumbled upon it. Big topic -- easy read. Quite a journey!

It's as if there have been two tracks before me... one leads to a derail or a fence... a blockade... the other leads to freedom -- the count it all joy track!! Maybe this has been part of God's plan for me all along -- the track to a better more creative me. And, one with an interesting testimony to say the least. ;)

Still have a few issues at times retrieving correct words, or the exact words I desire to share specifically verbally and in writing. Still just aim at something close as I can get sometimes, but, so much of the real me -- the me I was once before -- maybe even a better more creative version is emerging. Much sparking, I believe by faith, is happening within the left side of my brain, so it's very well possible as new paths are being made. A big word, or descriptor, an adjective or adverb will pop into my mind, and I'm like... "wow, haven't used that word in a good while, did I even know it before?" Ha! It's like a V-8 moment times a gazillion!

I recently wrote a letter to a gentlemen I consider my mentor. He wrote me back right away saying... and I quote (believe me when I say this man knows me and my ability to write HUGE emails the length of from here to TN and back again (and no he is not in TN)... so he knows what he's talking about)...
I don’t know if I ever had an email as long as yours without an error (that I could notice) in syntax, phrasing, spelling, punctuation! Thanks Mr. B... I so needed to hear that!!!! Means with God's help I am getting somewhere! Yes! Many many excellent things are happening in my life. Not only just hopes and dreams are in my head again, but I'm putting feet to the vision along with a talented cousin of mine in starting a new business. My pilot is playing a very important role to and is learning to video, plus he helps me network with people in our area. Ferries me all over the place. Listens to my dreams... sees progress being made.

We live in an area where just about everyone knows everyone by name, or at least a relative or two... or someone worked with someone, or was a client... so, we know lots of good good folks. The product my cousin and I'll be offering is a a very unique concept and service. One we're passionate about as are my pilot and other family members and friends who know about it. Wish I could share more here, but mum is the word. Only hint I can give is that it involves story telling. And, the collection of and capturing of the stories in a hugely special way to preserve the spirits of the story tellers. To captivate viewers. The unique imprint and contribution they've left on our country and the lives they've touched. Enough said... or I may give away too much. Lots more to it... rest assured.

And, the deal with Sydney and her boyfriend Cairn terrier, Toby... in Virginia... is still in the works. Just had to back burner it for a few. Hopefully, they'll be meeting around Valentines Day -- in person -- for a little photo shoot. Should prove to be fun and interesting. Chance will be coming along for the ride, too and I'm sure will be wondering about the nonsense of puppy love.

Of course, with excellent stuff come the challenges. The things I believe one must push past, not endure... live with and continue to move forward. Can't share what's happening to loved ones, such as my mother... but will share the recent news about me...

Physically, I've had quite a time of it the past few weeks. Seizures have escalated to a different level. Totally different experience than what's become routine for me. The 24/7 sensations and symptoms I've mentioned are ever present, however, neuro activity has been something else. It's kicked up many levels. I'm experiencing jerking and movements... almost vibrations at time, like there is a cell phone in my left foot set on vibrate, then from there I can't feel my feet at all at times. The movements and shudders can now easily be noticed by others. I've kicked into periods of cluster seizures. Not scary to me, but very scary to my pilot. It ebbs and flows fortunately.

Things really took off a couple of weeks back, so I spent this past Monday with my wonderful Epileptologist at the Epilepsy Center at Wake Forest/Baptist Hospital for an hour long (or more) consult. I failed just about every part of the neuro exam. Couldn't touch my nose with my left finger directly -- kinda missed it twice. Couldn't steadily walk a straight line, yet I'd not been drinking. Couldn't follow or match my finger to his finger as it darted left and right. Nystagus left eye
. Tremor right hand. Little head jerks. And, more... but the pic is easy to be gotten. The coolest thing is that I spoke perfectly and was able to stay focused. Was calm for the most part. Recalled a memory from decades and decades ago as soon as I saw the hospital for the visit. A memory about another head blow I received when I was 17. Konked with a 2 x 4 in the same spot where I received the blow at age 14. Recounted the story to him, although he didn't ask.

My lovely Epileptologist said I intrigued him because I've gotten so many of my words back and in spite of the condition I presented to him... I was happy and excited. Both my pilot and I could tell he was concerned... and he could tell we were, too. So, we've changed my medication again to a time release version of Keppa in an attempt to level things out. It's also in my records, that should I kick into another episode of cluster seizures like I did very very recently, it's in my chart... orders have been written to admit me to the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit, should a bed be available. It's about 100 miles or so from here, but for my pilot and I that is no biggie.

Also, my doctor mentioned it may or may not be Epilepsy... that my symptoms (as usual) are atypical. Could be daunting and scary, but I'm not going to let it. It's God's problem, not mine. It's in His hands. So, we've scheduled an MRI and consult with him the same day for mid March -- presurgical type... just so he can get a close look at what may or may not be happening up there. My last MRI was over three years ago, so it's definitely time.

So... all in all, I'm thrilled I walked into the clinic in the shape I was in. That my doctor saw it. All we need is to capture a couple of events in the Epilepsy Monitoring Unit to pinpoint the area of my brain that is misfiring... so a plan is now in place to do just that should things get to the place they've been recently. And, if the medication helps tame things down, that is just fine with me. I shall take it!!!! I'll proceed with the MRI and consult.

In my mind... all of whatever in the world is going on with me, must be medically documented for a true miracle of healing to be enjoyed by me and appreciated and understood by others. So, I believe with all of my heart... God's set me on the right path. He's not only working in my life, but is directing my doctor's caring and treatment of me. The man has a calling for what he does, as does his wonderful Epilepsy Nurse Clinician, I'm in frequent contact with. Truly, God chose them both to help me. And, they really really are.

I'm a push paster, and have realized that most likely I do have warning signals... may have even had whatever condition for a good while... I just always push past stuff, although, some how incredibly, I do remember to stop to smell the flowers, and watch sunrises and sunsets when I can. It takes discipline to remember some of the simplest things... to take notice of the beauty God's given us... it's all around us. One new thing I'm doing is learning to take more time to listen to God... spend quiet time with Him... enjoy His leading and rise early to read my online devotions and watch the sunrise. Such a difference it has made!!!

1 comment:

Gigi said...

Jeanne, I'm so sorry to read that the seizure activity has increased...BUT - I am overjoyed to read of all the wonderful work the Lord has been busy with in your life!!! Hallelujah! And ya know, sometimes things happen so that He can be glorified! I'm all for that and I know you are as well! Blessings to you...I pray 2009 is a wonderful year for you!