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Friday, March 6, 2009

On Hold...

I could detail a number of episodes/events, but one in particular comes to my mind at the moment. It was during the time I lived in the midwest many many years ago. And, I was with someone who had become a very good friend... someone who had become much of a mentor to me. Taught me about listening... and just accepted me as I was from the first moment we met. We were talking about something that really hit me in a vulnerable spot. To be honest, I'd gotten a bit emotional. When "it" was over, my mentor friend told me things I'd said and did. It was like I was there moving and talking, yet I wasn't totally conscious of what I was doing. I have a fuzzy memory of some of it. (Now I know it was an absence seizure or Petit Mal). Little flash backs... but, even to this day not all of it. If it scared my friend, they chose not to act afraid, because that person was sensitive to me... and already knew I had much on my plate at the time. That helped, because at that time it scared the daylights out of me... but only for a few moments. We soon just picked up where we'd left off and moved on with the rest of the evening. I shook it off. I had similar happen to me twice around that same time, however, I was alone and just blew it off.

The cool thing, is my friend didn't think I was crazy. For a moment or two, I surely did. But, I was going through many transitions... had a great deal of stress going on in my life at the time.

I've always been interested in people, even though by nature I'm an introvert, I'm highly intuitive, sensitive and a thinker... I think so much, I think myself silly at times... that would mean I'm guilty of over thinking. I like to analyze stuff, too... people, animals... you name it. I'm very perceptive, too... on an ever quest to understand everyone, everything... myself and whatever the condition is that I have... so I study and research. Guess one would call that curious. I like to reflect, be still, remember... pray and listen for that still small voice. The one God has given me, the Holy Spirit. He indwells in me, to help me... to be my comforter, to guide and direct me. Again, without God... I wouldn't be on the path to healing. It's there and I claim it. Receive it. But, part of the process is sharing my testimony... which is ongoing... hence, I believe the true reason for Project Rewire.

n all of my recent reflecting I've discovered stress indeed is one of my triggers. Little stress no biggie. But, big stressers... or an extraordinary amount of little stressers all piled up... interesting things set me up for such things to happen. As I've gone back over my life I've recalled quite a few times when "interesting" things happened. I now remember details of each... even the ones where I was semi conscious -- an in between place... and when I've gone unconscious, I recall the going out and coming back to.

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