Key page to help you connect the dots...

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Project Rewire... First Anniversary... Reflections of a year gone by...

Edit: June 2, 2010 after much thought I pulled my Project Rewire "anniversary" reflections Youtubes Parts 1 and 2 after having them "up" for 8 months.  I never was happy that my endeavor wound up being a two parter even though there was a lot of ground to cover.  Part 1 ultimately received close to double the amount of views that Part 2 had.  Honest to goodness, that didn't hurt me, but it made Part 1 insignificant and practically irrelevant.  Being an extremely logical minded gal, it was important to me for it all to make sense.  It was also important for me to elaborate about the ways I believed God had been leading me to do certain things to help rehab myself.  And how the things He led me to do, had helped me up to that point.  I thought it was also key for me to share how I'd refused to accept the negative words and reports I'd received from Neurologists since January, 2006.  Had I, my faith would have been hampered, dampered and crushed!  However, my entry below is still very much relevant, so only "this" edit is needed in my humble opinion.  To those who watched "my" two-parter, who may come across this entry again, it did my heart well to see those "views", although I truly never wanted anyone to feel obligated to watch both, which was my problem from the beginning.  Should I have followed through and not posted, either?  I'm not sure.  What I am sure about, past is past.  It's new day now.  A new time.  And I have no further thoughts one way or the other. 

Well, Saturday a week ago, July 25th, 2009 I celebrated my first anniversary of blogging Project Rewire. As I mentioned in the prior post, my hubby and I, along with my brother-in-law and a friend took to the sky in our powered parachutes. Then, the next afternoon after church that Sunday I 'webcammed' it to create two YouTubes to share my reflections of Project Rewire's first year, instead of writing my typical "novel" length entry. But, uh oh, here goes one anyway! Ha! A blogging woman's prerogative.

In the Youtubes my "soul" purpose was to share from my heart and provide details to give the viewers and Project Rewire readers a better picture of the positive things I'm doing for myself... things I believe God has guided me to do. As well as to talk about how Epilepsy has limited life. And NOT limited my life, most importantly!
It's a bit of a bummer I had to go with two YouYubes, as my original hopes were to get all I felt compelled to share into one video. Yet for me, one was an impossibility. Just like keeping this to only a few lines. (Readers... I'm hoping you feel compelled to take the time to watch Part Two... I'll be forever thankful if you do!)

Also, toward the end I took a few moments to speak specifically to some family members and to a few special friends who I reconnected with this year. Plus, shared a tiny bit about my hopes for this coming year.
Although, I touched on a few things I wanted to share, there's more in my heart that soon needs to be added. So, I'm planning to make a couple more YouTubes to elaborate further on ways God has helped me on my journey to healing and also to thank a few people, like all of YOU Project Rewire readers!! From there, we'll see how it goes. I may get in a groove to make YouTubes every now and again. Or, use my channel to share some video of other interests of mine.

A note about the quality... video quality, I mean. To be honest, It's not there. My hubby and I do some videoing from time to time and there is no comparison. But, the content is most assuredly there.
I chose to webcam outside in one of my favorite places... on my deck. I could hear all of my wind chimes tinkling in the hot summer breeze... a wonderful variety of birds were singing in my sanctuary... the tops of the tall pine trees swaying back and forth as they danced in the wind... and overhead the fantastic clouds rolled in. It was a steamy 97 degrees in the shade under the umbrella. I taped several sessions to try to get it right. So, you'll catch a tad of not so great editing. It was my first time out with the webcam on my little MacBook and using iMovie. The MacBook is still a rehab tool for me. I'm a "Windows" gal and have been since MS did away with DOS, LOL! But, my goal one day is to be proficient on both.

Also, just so
you know... I sent the two parter out to a small number of people first prior to posting them here. Some are people who've known me all of my life, but haven't seen me in over twenty years. People who have seen me in the last one to five years. People I routinely see. And people who've never met me in person. However, I've met via FaceBook; this blog or via Twitter.

So far, I received encouraging comments from everyone, not just patting me on the back, or complimenting me, but true candid feedback. Those who know me in person, noticed the change from my Second MRI Day, March 13, 2009 YouTube. While others went back to the last time they saw me two and three years ago. The only negative feedback I received was from a net friend who has never met me in person. The comments made were about my eyes looking to the left and up often while I was speaking. My friend even thought I was reading cue notes from a board. Nope, it's so not the case. I
adlibbed it all! At one time my memory was so sharp I rarely had to write notes for anything and I'm used to thinking on my feet. So, even the mere thought of using notes of any sort when I YouTube myself is never going to happen. I prefer the challenge!

Yet, I'm very thankful my friend mentioned it, otherwise I wouldn't have thought to explain about my eyes.
Keep in mind when someone is recalling a memory, the brain signals them to look up and to the left. Interviewers such as I was in my second career, know this. And, people who interrogate others, such as properly trained law enforcement officers, know this. It's a body language thing. Also, please keep in mind that the lesions I mention in the Part One are located in the "language area" of my brain, so it works to find the right word as I speak. My vocabulary is not extensive in the YouTubes as I'd like, but my words do make sense and they flow. That's good enough for me. Hopefully, for those who view them, too! Now, in my next video I'll go into more detail about the "frayed" wires, which actually led up to the name "Project Rewire". It all goes back to a five hour face to face Neuro Cognitive Evaluation I had with a Neuro Psychologist in January of 2007.

One last thing... please any feedback or comments... comment here, or on YouTube. I'm learning and my desire is to improve. This is one time I also ask that Project Rewire readers not email me privately. On YouTube and here on Project Rewire, I can easily come back to refresh my memory. Emails... I receive a large number of emails daily via AOL... and this is so important to me, I don't want to lose any. Thank you!

And just for the record, referring to the "About Me" section on Project Rewire, I'm still doing my best not to allow the disease, nor the stigma to define me that comes along with Epilepsy and/or seizure disorders. And even though I'm pretty much home bound, I try to live my life as normally as possible. I am not a disease, I am Jeanne! The ONLY reason I talk about it in person, or on this blog, is that I'm trying to put a FACE on the disease to bring much needed awareness to it, and that's a path or a calling I can't ignore... so who knows where God will lead me next year? But where ever it is, I'm willing, and He will be faithful to prepare me. Has this past year since beginning Project Rewire been easy? No, it's honestly been one of the most challenging years of my life, but through the Lord, I've persevered. Thankfully,He's yet to forsake me!

Deuteronomy 31: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you. He will never leave you or forsake you."

Okay... here goes! Please feel free to pass this blog entry on as well as the YouTubes, if you feel led to... those of us living with Epilepsy, surely could use the help getting the word out to create awareness everywhere. Thanks!

P.S. I will be cross posting these YouTubes on FaceBook in a day or so. A dear person to me passed away last evening (Sunday) and I need to wait a little. She was a beautiful woman. The wife of "my" special trainman... someone who has been much like a grandfather to me this past year. My heart is breaking for him, and he also just had surgery this week to have stints put in due to a triple blockage. My praying readers... please pray for him and his family. God knows him by name. Thank so much.


Stuart Ross McCallum said...

Jeanne, I applaud you expressing an open, honest and frank account of your life. By sharing your experiences with epilepsy will assist in creating a better understanding for sufferers and non sufferers alike. Kudos to you.

I wish you happiness and good health for the future.

ppcjeanne said...

Thank you so much, Stuart. Such words coming from you, mean a great deal to me. I very much appreciate your viewing the YouTubes and for commenting. God bless you.


David Turner said...

Jeanne, Thanks for writing and sharing the videos about your journey with epilepsy. I am encouraged by your attitude (and by your faith).

Thanks too, for all your prayers for Hannah.

ppcjeanne said...

David, appreciate your comments ever so much. Hannah and your family will continue to be in my prayers. She is such a brave little girl and extremely inspiring! The information you are sharing as you journey with Hannah is key in helping others pray, as well, as incredibly informative in creating awareness about Epilepsy. Thank you for being so open and going public. Blessings...