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Monday, March 16, 2009

On days like today I think of my family roots...

from my mother's side and dad's too, but today I've concentrated on Mom's side. It's been a crazy day on my end. My new router about did me in! No, just kidding. The day just wasn't at all what I expected it to be.

No phone call came as we were told on Friday about my MRI results. It's no biggie, though. Friday was a busy day for them at both the MRI Imaging Center and Comprehensive Epilepsy Center at Wake Forest Baptist Hospital, so no doubt they had to play catch up today. Also, Friday was my wonderful doctor's last day, so today, I suspect, brought with it many adjustments for staff and patients alike. As far as the results, I'm not really *that* anxious... although admittedly I'd sure like to hear something. But, I've received calls from relatives, emails from friends checking in out of concern... wanting to hear if I've heard anything. Kind of a good and bad thing... good to know they're thinking of me and care... bad because, I can't relieve their worry over me.

The good news about the computer probs, is that I've stayed focused elsewhere. After a day of trouble shooting every which way to avoid calling customer support for the router manufacturer, as a last resort, I decided to give it a whirl before giving up. I'm not one who gives up easily on anything or anyone. Ever. Unless there is simply no hope. In those cases, as long as I know I've given something everything I've got... it's more of a matter of letting go than giving up. As with all computer equipment these days... it's built so quickly... quality pays the price. Which means as consumers, we do, too... particularly when we must keep returning new things that are built so fast.

Long story short, I was incredibly nice, patient and understanding as the person walked me through the very same steps I'd taken all day... so, of course, none of the steps the person gave me worked. Even though, I admit I was hoping... I felt like the equipment was faulty from the beginning, but these days, I question myself and my intuition at times. I'd mentioned at the very start of the phone call that I was expecting an important phone call, and without going into any huge detail, told him why. I used the "E" word, explained that I may drop a word or two. And, if the important call came through, would he call me back?

He said he would. I believed him.

I also shared that I literally had both a laptop and a MacBook at my feet with a desktop in front of me... so he'd understand it may take me a few to switch back and forth when he'd give me a direction.

What he suggested for the little Mac didn't work, so he told me to call the Apple guys, then call him back. I reminded him, we needed to configure the laptop first, I could deal with the Mac later. (I even explained I didn't use the Mac for my everyday stuff. My laptop was important to me. Yet, he wanted to work on the Mac first. Why?????) I wondered, but I wanted to be a good customer, do my part, and went along with him. I've held employee hands over the phone in walking them through computer probs many a time and other techy things... and considered his position, probably, too much. I tried my best to help him help me. Yet, I believe that I wasn't too slow in my communications with him... what threw him off is that I was too quick because I anticipated his next request of me, and either had already done it or was in the midst of doing it. The only thing I couldn't control was how quickly my machines booted. The MacBook is lightening fast. It's almost brand new! But, I could tell by a couple of words he said, it wasn't speedy enough for him. At that point, I could tell he was getting a bit overwhelmed, and that things weren't moving as expediently as he'd like. I could hear him talking to someone else in the background. Yet, he stuck with me a few minutes more. As we walked through the same old steps, when I shared that I encountered the same problem as with the Mac, all of a sudden the phone line disconnected. Such a waste of my time, or was it?

I waited half an hour for a call back... none came. So, I called back... went through the prompts again... chose one which was sort of close to what I needed because they really don't have a true tech support number. Not for the free period warranty coverage... and even the pay for service number is a prompt. Which is really the number I actually had to go through to get to tech non-support. Then, I left a message requesting a call back and explained about being disconnected. My call was NOT returned. What's interesting is that this particular company calls their "tech support" people "fulfillment specialists". What? Hmmmm... don't think so! Very unfulfilling experience on my end, that is for sure! Eye opening, too.

Off and on all evening I've wondered if the "E" word had anything to do with the person's choice not to call me back. I'm still pretty stunned because in every job I ever had customer service was key, as well as treating people graciously and kindly. Being understanding and listening are key, too! Don't say you're going to do something and not come through. I've also one incredibly special person in my family with a major disability... so I know how important sensitivity is... whether people have issues or don't. Just be decent... give more than expected. Sometimes just a smile can wow someone... or a little note, like I received today from several friends -- old and new alike.

One thing for sure, the router is a bad one and it's going back tomorrow. Learned a big lesson today even though things are a bit different now... I'm still me... I can still troubleshoot... I still need to follow my intuition and instincts. In fact, I had a bad feeling when we bought the router on Friday. The timing just wasn't right.

I also multi-tasked like I used to during my career today... well now today is yesterday. It felt good!!! And, I came through on a promise I'd made to my husband about helping the desktop run faster (it's the one he uses -- I'm the one that needs a mobile one as an appendage).

And, yesterday, I even emailed back and forth with a few friends and played around on Face Book a bit trying to catch up. So many nice people have signed up to take CURE on for one of their causes -- I needed to spend some time there. So, amidst all of that I cleaned up the old desktop from stem to stern -- blew all the clutter out, cleaned the registry... removed old unnecessary programs... etc... tweaked the paging file... it just needs a little more RAM to help it run smoother. Kinda like me. My short term memory is fine for the most part... long term is *almost* excellent it is so hard wired in... the immediate stuff is where I'm vulnerable. Had a reminder of two of that today, too! But, no need to go into that.

Before I kick this old desktop into a deep deep scan, I am closing this entry by sharing a photo of my beautiful grandmother... FLCM... she was around 16 years of age in this photo and as you can see her hair was very dark. All of the years I knew her it was a beautiful white... not silver... white. Just like the gorgeous french lace shawl she's wearing... almost looks like gossamer wings... don't let her fool you... for most of her life she slept with a gun under her pillow!!! My grandfather was gone much of the time, with 8 kids to raise on her own, she was a Lioness!!

My grandmother was a breathtakingly beautiful woman...
During her older years... even more so
Of course, I never knew her in her younger years
Although, I've seen photos
The years she was my grandmother
Her hair was always white
It was down to her waist
Yet, she chose to wear it up in a simple
elegant French twist, held by a simple comb
I asked her once what I could give her for her birthday...
She said "how about a hair comb"... and that's what I gave her
She wore it often, especially when I visited her
To this day, a hair comb will not stay in my hair
I'd love it if it would, however, I do enjoy wearing my hair up
Always have and do quite often
It was a real treat to catch a glimpse of her with her hair down
That only happened early in the a.m. or before bed when she'd brush it
With her golden ornate Victorian Era brush
my lovely niece has it now along with the gorgeous hand mirror
In my mind's eye I can see my Grandmother now...
brushing her hair and checking the back of her head
in that mirror, checking it again after she'd roll her French twist
my mother and I do that, too, we're concerned about how the back of our
hair looks, because we believe the back of a person tells the mood of a person

In looking at her face in the photo, I see little resemblance
My eyes are green, her's were brown
My hair is a mish mash of color
But we both have thin lips
She wore very little makeup
Because she didn't need to
I've never worn much either, yet
when I do, I want it to look natural
didn't quite achieve that the other day
for my MRI visit... I was too heavy handed
Usually, I put my make on in very little light because
I'm highly "light" sensitive -- lights are a triggers for me
all kinds of man made lights, except for natural light
unless it's dappling through the trees
But, I'd turned on the vanity lights above big mirror in the bathroom
Changed my makeup applying routine to look healthy for my husband
and for my doctor... and blew it
Blew it again today in a way, by sitting in front of the bright
computer monitor for the desktop
and pushed past some "stuff" as a result
I missed an Rx dosage...
It's not dangerous, but it sets me up for possible "episodes"
And it did...
had what I believe to be a "nocturnal" seizure around 3:06 a.m.
I seriously believe it was a seizure because they're much more vivid than dreams...
more like a vision or an hallucination
with temporal lobe activity it can happen
unique people like me... temporal lobers...
we must be strong of character and faith
strong of mind and willed
because if not, it would be easy to question our sanity
they don't scare me like they used to because I've learned the misfire sparks
off creativity and brings back some of the hardwired stuff that I've been assured
is still "in there"... "up there" -- confirmation is a good thing!
It's a God thing, too!!
aside from remembering more about my Grandmother, I remembered a missing
part about the day I got that first head blow... the one I mentioned in a post below...
a tough tough memory, that one... one I needed to recall... not to share
because it was about my sister, Grace...

Remembering excellent things and/or difficult things are all good for me
each memory I reclaim as a gift from God

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Edited in between the hours of 4:30 a.m. and 5:57 a.m.
going to drink a cup of tea now and enjoy some PB and crackers...

To one special person who prays for me in the middle of the night... JC... knowing you pray for me... gets me through when I awake after only sleeping an hour or two at best... now that you've built the new sign coming into my neighborhood... even more so... because I know you... and I know as you reworked the sign... took the old and made new, you prayed for every home in my neighborhood... every person in it... even my puppy and my cousin far away... my home, my mother's home... you maybe even drove up and down the streets... but your quiet way... you'd never mention it to anyone. Even knowing God is there for me... having the man with the eyes of Jesus, with the hands of a carpenter... and an artist rebuild that sign... has helped built my faith and made me feel safer. God Bless you Mr. J.C. -- your heart is huge and you reach out to others in such a loving way... at church... to everyone you meet, the huge loss you and your family have had to bear... P.C. with her grace and beauty... her God given music and teaching talents... when she reads aloud... she sounds like Jesus. The two of you were meant to be together. You've a very special ministry... a bit uncommon when blended... extraordinary. Not many have been chosen to entertain messengers of God unawares... but you two did... truly did. It will happen again soon... I just know it...

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