Key page to help you connect the dots...

Monday, March 23, 2009

To MS... with one note to V... in pink

We have a friend in common who talked to me in church yesterday... the words I shared in essence.........

.........with much elaboration for you, or for any of my readers challenged by Epilepsy, Seizure Disorders, Parkinson's, Movement Disorders, or any illness whatsoever... and/or life in general.

To me much comes down to perception.........

When your back is up against the wall, for me personally, as someone dealing with something similar to you... I *deliberately* use walls to lean up against to steady myself. In fact, when I spoke to your friend and others at church yesterday morning, I was literally leaning up against a wall.

Honestly, I stand up frequently with my back against walls where ever I can find one. Not leaning if I can help it, but straight up!!! And, if there is no wall... I sway to keep my balance. God is in the sways, too... they make me more dependant upon Him... sways build faith. They help me know where I'm at. The less I sway, the closer I am to healing.

I sit far back in chairs, in restaurant booths, even in cars at times, on sofas and love seats, and in my bed with lots of pillows to push myself up against. Doing so gives me support... it's not the walls holding me up. I see it as God holding me up. He's bearing the weight.

He's taught me such things to help me deal with the various movements inside me which also helps me to keep my head still. In keeping my head more still, I'm actually able to be stay more alert and focused... more in the moment, because I drift at times. Space for a few. Particularly so, when my eyes are a little fluttery or jerky. Although I do rest my head on my palm or fist with my elbow bent when sitting. Often.

In public... walls and seats or benches with backs are "God sends" to me, so much so that when most people look at me on a pew at church for instance, or, in a restaurant, even at home... they don't notice any movement. True, the movements I experience are subtle for the most part, yet they are there all of the time. Much of everything is filtered through them. It's been that way since, January, 2006. And, even though I believe I am healed, my body hasn't quite caught up yet... neuro misfiring has escalated of late. By faith though, I see it all gone -- poofed away. So, walls I welcome. They just help me remember I'm human and my need to be closer to God.

Must share a little more in hopes that this will make sense to you, M.S., so here goes.........

When I first heard Roger Thrower's song in our church one Sunday many months ago, I felt a stirring to begin to worship. Actually, I'd been expecting the right praise and worship song to come along which would allow me to feel more free to. My balance tends to be off on my right side, so when I stand up in church during our praise and worship part of our service, I always hold on to the back of the seat in front of me, and if I feel compelled to raise my hands, I raise one, so I can still hold on with the other. Well, when I first heard "He Will Raise Me Up"... it truly was the first time in ages I felt remotely comfortable lifting both hands. Admittedly, I don't do it often, but when we "do" that song in church, I do my best to.

Now, the story behind that is that Roger's brother spoke to me many months ago telling me that my healing would come through my worship. Well, worship comes in many fashions, but the most natural is with music to me and music is playing a key role in my healing. When Roger's brother speaks words == I tend to listen. He's someone I consider as a spiritual father, although, I believe I'm older than he is come to think of it. Ha!

So... if you don't already do so... start listening to praise music. It may just be me, but I believe this particular song of Roger's will have special meaning to you, as it does me. Be sure to read the words a few times while you watch the youtube... let them get into your spirit!

Also, if you don't know it, this is Epilepsy Awareness Month, and that's why I chose a lavender border for Roger's youtube -- it's the awareness color for Epilepsy. Consider clicking into CURE to join up. For people like you and I who don't experience common warning signals or auras... more innovative research needs to be done.

Now, below I'll share a youtube for you of He Will Raise You Up. Amazingly, I just noticed it was posted by Roger on my birthday!!! June 26th!!! I just saw the date... thank you Roger... thank you Roger's brother... thank you God!!! What a remarkable treat to find!!

As an aside... the Throwers have played a HUGE role in my family. My parents were close to their parents. I was baptised by immersion in a pond on their parent's property the summer of 1988!!!(I may be off a year)  Although I was first baptised by sprinkling at a wonderful Lutheran church in Columbus, Ohio many years ago on a Palm Sunday. Wow! Much more to the story or stories... so better quit now or I'll be here for days!!!

One last thing to you M.S. you helped me, today, too. When our mutual friend told me your story. Hearing about you, gave me confirmation(s). Very grateful for it and I'll be writing your name with my left hand on my whiteboard as soon as a post this. Click into the label below entitled "left handed writing on white board" for the scoop on that.

God Bless... please feel free to contact me via Or, our mutual friend can pass on my phone number to you. 

And to V ~ your words touched me tremendously. Thank you for sharing about your father with me. Growing up the way you did, helping to take care him as he struggled with Epilepsy... made you sensitive and understanding. It made you observant. I've seen it time and time over the years. You were created to be a helper. You're one who sees needs in people, yet aren't afraid to reach out. I believe both of your fathers are well pleased with you. Your earthly dad in heaven and your Heavenly Father. Just from me to you.

Link to Roger's websites below -- he can be found at New Hope Foursquare Church, in Fairmont, West Virginia. Every so often he comes home for a visit... our church couldn't be more pleased to see he, his wife Heather, and their family when they do.

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